I first met Alan while taking a spa holiday in St Lucia. The trip was a break from a traumatic few years that had included a divorce, the premature birth of my second daughter, post-natal depression and family problems. I’m a practical person and was very interested that a leading cognitive behavioural therapist was going to be available during my stay.
I attended master classes held each day by Alan on various topics: “Introduction to Cognitive Therapy”, “Getting to Know Your Ego” and “Managing Stress with Cognitive Therapy” to name a few. After a few days of very thought provoking classes I decided a one-to-one consultation would be useful.
During that hour I spent with Alan, I detailed how recent events with my family and the aftermath of my recent and drawn out divorce had made me feel. I also identified how as a result, my current behaviour was fairly self destructive.
Alan’s unique insight into this made me consider the problem differently. Not as an overwhelming whole but separating out my issues into areas I could work on. My issue with not wanting to marry my partner was due to the hugely negative reactions and side taking by my close family when my marriage failed. I was fearful of failing again. The issues were separated out and my family’s lack of support and understanding should have not been clouding my relationship with my boyfriend.
24 hours later the thought process initiated by my one-one consultation with Alan was complete. What follows is an extract from my diary:
FINALLY!!!! I’ve got there; my mind has been working since seeing Alan on Monday. It was during the massage treatment in the spa this morning after his talk “Getting to Know Your Ego”. I’m going to have it out / chat with Mum and Dad. They will no longer affect my life / behaviour patterns. The problem is not mine, it never has been, its mums mostly. I was conditioned to act / react the way I used to. It feels like I’ve come miles and miles!
So much so I set a date to meet with my parents to sort out the issues we had. I also proposed to my boyfriend there and then, who said ‘yes’.
The combination of therapy and having reflective time in a spa environment brought about the life changing experience I did not think was possible.